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WILLS!!! am I glad you picked this word! Here is my favorite excerpt from www.wwujd.com (what would uncle jesse do)!!! (AND IT HAS SCURVY IN IT...TWICE.) McSorley's Pub was packed to the rafters with drunken sailors and monks who all witnessed one of the most insane nights of competition in WWUJD.com history. Uncle Jesse took on a number of challengers in a total of six pulse- pounding matches. The results of "HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW: MAXIMUM HOLD" (sponsored by Lemon Pledge) are posted below (to save some time, we can tell you that Uncle Jesse won every match, and took over Madagascar in the process). ROUND SIX; UNCLE JESSE VS. CURLY SUECurly Sue thought she was pretty slick, using her hair to gain notoriety. What she didn't count on is the fact that she was ugly, and had SCURVY. Curly Sue walked into the ring, spitting some crazy Bronx nonsense about suspenders and Jim Belushi, but since she was only 1 foot tall, Uncle Jesse couldn't hear her. He especially couldn't hear her after he ripped off her mouth and took a poop on her tongue. Then, to show her who was boss (it was him) he straightened her hair with his trusty sidecomb, Mr. GoodPart. So now, since her obnoxious novelty act had expired (along with the whole ugly/scurvy combination) she was ripe for the picking. After he straightened her mop, he toe-punted Curly Sue clear into the nosebleed seats at McSorley's. He made sure to kick her square in the neckbone. She clamored back into the ring, where Uncle Jesse promptly combed his hair a hundred times and tried on 76 pairs of tight black jeans. Then, he washed his white, V-Neck t-shirt. After this, he went to a nearby bodega and made Curly Sue buy him some Fig Newtons. As soon as she handed the cashier her money, Uncle Jesse gave her a wedgie and hung her by her underpants above the cash register. She stayed there until later in the evening when some Asian dudes rolled in and purchased her for an even 24 dollars. They hung her inside their Acura and drove away bumping the "Remix to Ignition" by R. Kelly.
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