hi heather – what happens at the end?
thanks, henri hey henri –
i’m not sure, but i think it’s whatever you believe.
the last thing you’ll see
is whatever’s behind
your own eyelids
and what’s behind there
is whatever you believe
looks like a starburst light
at the end of the tunnel
to me keep it fresh,
heather
Dear Heather,Have you thought of any ideas that might save the world lately?
Cool,
Shirley, 33 Hey Shirley -
i just wrote this yesterday: i was walking Nacho & a car swerved outta nowhere an older Volvo grill coming at us & then swerved away & in that split second i tried to yank Nacho & get both of us out of the way, on a bridge with a brambly canyon on the other side of the waist-high fence. i tried to survive & i want to survive & i want all of you to survive too. I've heard the stat that in 1980 your chances of getting cancer were 1 in 800, and in 2005 it was 1 in 3. Whether that's exact doesn't matter, the point is we're eating plastic & lathering up with plastic all day every day & can't believe it when we wake up with tumors & dementia. Environmental facvtors must play a role in rising cancer rates - mainly we subsist on products made of plastic & they need to be manufactured. There's no turning back nor should we want to. But we can't stand still, either, because this plastic isn't going anywhere & it's making us all crazy & sick. How about this: US college kids stay in for 5 years, 1 year is spent on a sustainable organic farm in one of the 50 states learning how things grow, are born, die. we should all know how to grow tomatoes. we should see something give birth before we think about contraception, if would be fun with bunch of kids your age, you'd be growing food for your school, your state, your country, your family, your self - so you'd do a good job. after a coule years if it does okay help farms in other countries, set them up as organic - locals keep all the $ - just make it organic/hormone-free & we can buy it - the US college kids are good, here's a goal they can believe in besides money & plastic. Think Tea Leaf Green "Country Seduction" for a year. you never know when the car isn't gonna swerve back & you'll be sent into the canyon so here's my idea, spread it if you like it, change it if you don't, but don't keep eating that garbage just because it's for sale & the FDA approves. Also you can check out this site for more things to think about & things to do -ConservationValue.org.
Keep it fresh,
heather
Hi Heather,Who is the chick at the top of the ASK HEATHER page? Is it you?
- Dana G from NJ Hey Dana -
Yes, that is me. That's my peanut butter & jelly (strawberry) with one bite missing. That's peanut butter on my right sleeve, straight from my face. Not sure why I'm still in a high chair, but I’m sure I liked it. It was taken on a camera looking like this. Thanks for the question.
Keep it fresh,
Heather <
Yo Heather – I heard there’s a site where you can download or just listen to tons of shows for free, from Grateful Dead ’72 to last night’s Xavier Rudd. Can you help? Peace, TLG-Hops-Man! Hey Little Fella –
The site you’re talking about is the Live Music Archive, and it’s a real treasure. As the Polish Rifle says*, “Archive.org is a forum that allows the posting and downloading of live recordings. Depending on the uploader, you can download songs, full shows, or stream music at various qualities and file sizes.” To stream (listen without downloading): 1. Go to the Live Music Archive & pick any band name you see on the list: http://www.archive.org/audio/etreelisting-browse.php?collection=etree 2. Say you pick Tea Leaf Green. Then you pick the year of the show. Click 2005. 3. They’re listed in chronological order, see March 11, 2005, Mystic Theatre? It says “Details and downloads” in the box on the left side under the stars. Click that “Details and downloads” link. (you should be here – http://www.archive.org/audio/etree-details-db.php?id=23489) 4. See the word “Stream” second one down? Click that, and the show should start playing using whatever program your computer can find. 6. Repeat endlessly for any show and any band you can think of. If you find something you want to download, all you do is right-click it & save it to your hard drive. All for FREE! It’s not as good as being there live, but it’s as close as you can get & it’s really good.
Keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather,Should guys use shampoo AND conditioner?
Just wondering,
Phil
www.sbphreaks.com Hey Phil –
I hope you don’t mind, I directed your question to Jenna, as in JENSTAR Productions, as in the WonderWoman behind ALO, that magical zookeeper, the one and only Jenna Lebowitz. Somehow in the middle of all those miles and logistics and shows, she manages to pursue some natural body product crafting, and I knew she’d help us out. Also, I couldn’t help but notice how extremely shiny all members of ALO’s hair is – Dave especially. Of course she shed some light: Some of the ALO guys use shampoo and conditioner, others just use shampoo. It depends on the length of their hair. If it is super short - no conditioner. I think the shine comes from the crazy ALO schedule that cuts back the number of showers they can take in a week. Ain't no shine like the hair grease shine. My recommendation to men would be to use conditioner if they need to add some weight to their hair. Leave in conditioner is a good option as well. I know a lot of guys naturally produce a lot of oil. If so, conditioner/moisturizer probably isn't as necessary. If their hair is dry and brittle I recommend conditioner. I have yet to make my own shampoo and conditioner but I do use my own body oils as a finishing and moisturizing product. Once my hair is dry I will lightly run my oiled hands over my hair, focusing on the ends. For styling (holding fly away hairs into a pony tail) I use aloe vera gel. It works wonders, moisturizes, and doesn't leave your hair crusty like commercial gel or mousse. Did I just go overboard with this or what? Ask me a simple question and you get a lecture. Wow, thanks Jenna! I think I speak for all of us when I say that she did not go overboard and we all appreciate the stellar lecture. Got that Phil? Shiny hair will be yours. And if you haven’t checked it out yet, Phil is keeper of a really cool site for a really special place.
Keep it fresh and shiny one and all,
Heather
Dear Heather, What would win in a race between a 450R Honda (4wheeler) or a 450Yz Yamaha (dirt bike)?
Racer Mandy Hey Racer Mandy,
As this is the closest I’ve come to a real dirt bike, I asked our friend Shroom to help us out. And help us out he did. Shroom is a Control Systems Engineer for Honda's Formula 1 racing team, and ukulele player of the famed "Los Banditos.” He also plays kickball for the WAKA team, The BANKness. Here’s his answer, in its entirety: hi heather first of all I have to tell you how our season ended. so we had our kickball tournament this past monday night and although we have not won a game for real all year (two forfeit wins) we were not in last place because one other team forfeited 3 times. So anyhow we only had 8 people but were winning 3-1 in the third and pumped to win our first game. Until I sprained my knee going for a ball in center field...boooooo. So we had to forfeit and lose. Oh well, at least I got the day off of work on tuesday and now have muscle relaxers prescribed for me!! anyhow it's a kinda tough question. Would probably depend on what sort of terrain they're racing on, and of course the driver makes a big difference. Both are off-road models and are built for racing, so their suspensions are set up well. Both have a 450 cubic centimeter engine. I found info online that tells me the honda 4wheeler puts out about 50hp. I can't find any horsepower numbers on the yamaha dirt bike but we'll assume it also puts out around 50hp since they both have the same size engine and both are meant for racing. I'm gonna go with the yamaha dirt bike even though I'd like to say the honda. Problem is that you're comparing apples and oranges here, you know one has two more wheels than the other so they're kind of meant for different things. But I say yamaha for two reasons: number one is that it weighs about 220pounds compared to the 360pounds on the 4 wheeler (less weight = faster for a given amount of force), number two is there are 2 fewer tires which means less rolling resistance/friction. But 2 fewer tires on the dirt bike also means less traction so again it depends on the surface they're racing on; maybe if it's all muddy or something the 4wheeler could win because it'd have better grip. hope that helps adios So there we have it, Mandy, looks like you’d better just race them & see. Thanks so very much Shroom for your super answer, here’s to a speedy knee recovery & it’s easy to see why Honda’s the best.
Keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather, You are just a total rip. Loved the picture of flops & drez. Who is "moving mike"? Love, nyvintagemom Hey nyvintagemom –
“Moving Mike” is Mike O'Neill. He was a year ahead of me in high school. You may remember him from going out with Beth in 9th grade, while his BFF Jason Foreman was going out with Liam? He was also romantically linked to Soft Dunphy Susan for a while in the later high school years. He played soccer and lacrosse and drove a white station wagon with Taco Bell stickers in the windows. He lived over by Beth and his dad called girls “chippies.” Hope this helps.
Keep it fresh,
Heather
Hi heather - I have a question that needs answering. If there were conjoined twins, and one of them committed murder, what would happen? Would the authorities send the twins to jail, knowingly imprisoning an innocent person? Or would they let the guilty one go free to prevent the wrongful persecution of the twin that committed no crime? I ask because if the latter scenario is true, then I think we should all live in fear of conjoined twins going on crime sprees, and we should immediately start working on some sort of contingency plan. (We could call it "Plan B", maybe.)
Also, I recently moved from the The Promised Land aka Wisconsin (where Old Style is plentiful) to the west coast (where Old Style is sadly unavailable). Had I known this before, I never would have moved, but now it is too late. My repeated emails to the good folks at G. Heileman’s Brewing Company have gone unanswered. Do you have any ideas on how I can get my hands on some of this delicious lager that is Brewed With Water From When The Earth Was Pure?
love,
Dan Halen Hey Chicken Punch –
First, the Siamese twins. We talked about this first year law school – the legal system in the US is built on the notions that we’re innocent until proven guilty and better a guilty man walk free than an innocent one stay imprisoned. So even if one twin murdered, they wouldn’t punish the other one for something he didn’t do. They would probably order counseling for the murderer twin and the other twin could read a book or listen to his ipod during the counseling. This is where the cliché – “Never turn your back on the Siamese twins” comes from. As for Plan B – I thought Plan B was always “Run For It.” Next, Andrea at Pabst gave me names of the three distributors of Heileman’s Old Style Lager closest to San Diego: Crescent Crown Distributing in Phoenix, (602) 346-5549; Finley Distributing in Tucson, (520) 623-8800; and Fred Nackard Wholesale Beverage in Flagstaff, (928) 526-2229. She suggests you contact the distributor of your choice for retailer info. Another alternative I was thinking – you could post on Madison craigslist and somebody from The Promised Land might mail you cases of it if you paid them.
Keep it fresh,
Heather
Hey Heather. My name is Caitlin and i was wondering if you knew why some
teens have such a hard time losing their excess weight???? I myself have a
problem, and I hope to take some off soon - thanx! <3 Caitlin
Hey Caitlin –First off, I’m not a doctor or nutritionist & the last time I took bio was in 9th grade. I do have some thoughts on food, though. I think we’re getting tons of confusing messages about what we should be eating from a lot of people who are paid to say a lot of things and it’s really hard to figure it all out. What I try to do is instead of thinking about calories and grams of fat and sugar and everything else, and how many of those “bad” things I’m “allowed” to have – I try to think about how many vitamins and minerals and “good” things are in whatever I’m eating and try to get as many of as many different kinds of vitamins from as many different kinds of foods as I can all the time. So instead of being a big scary confusing mess, eating can be fun & you can feel good about yourself while you’re doing it & afterwards too. Eat a lot of fresh fruit & vegetables & things that grow on their own – like as many as you possibly can. If you’re given a choice, choose the things that have the most vitamins, that are the most colorful, that have been touched by the fewest machines/uncaring humans. If you hate spinach, don’t eat it – eat bananas and carrots and tomatoes and things that you like the taste of. Don’t feel like you have to eat anything. Ever. You always have the choice, no matter what your friends or the people at MTV say. I think if you try to eat like this you’ll start feeling better & your weight won’t be a problem for you anymore.
Keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather,Why?
~ Kerry Hey Kerry -
Might as well. Keep it fresh,
Heather
Heather, Can you shed any light on the meaning of that one ALO song with the refrain that sounds like it is a morph of about 6 different Germanic and/or Romantic languages. You know, the one that sounds like a sweet '80's song? Actually, just a transcript of the words would be a great start. The only part of the refrain I can ever understand is "we're ALO and we came to play for you."
I like fresh fruit, Dingo Hey Dingo!
It’s Japanese and I found some light for us on the Judo Forum, which translates it: “HAJIMEMASHITE, DOZO YOROSHIKU. How do you do? Nice to meet you.” You can hear it here: ALO (Animal Liberation Orchestra) labeled “Haji Me Mashde” and I think you’ll be safe yelling “DOZO YOROSHIKU!” back to them, if you feel like it, which you probably will. Keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather,If you were a glass of water, and you were on fire...would you pour yourself out??
Workin for the weekend,
Javier Dear Javier,
I can’t see how a glass or water could be on fire, but yes.
Keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather,Ok, I am only halfway through college, I have $4,000 in the bank, and in a month or so I am moving to a new city, leaving school for who knows how long, and picking up 2 jobs (long story). Rent, food, a new means of transportation, etc., are all going to be taxing my reserves, and there's nobody to help out. SO. Do you have any realistic suggestions for money-making outside of minimum-wage jobs and selling myself?
Thanks, Alinda Hey Alinda-
First of all, you can do it.
I had a few jobs during school and none was minimum wage or selling myself. I was a research assistant for a super professor (reading comprehension for $10/hr), I babysat several kids, usually just one night a week, including one incredibly cool Zak, and I would go thrifting on the weekends and sell stuff I found on eBay. you could probably do all of those things wherever you are, too. Lapsing into the minimum wage/selling yourself: I also worked in a university office, at the front desk of a gym, at gap kids, delivering lunch to long island office parks, as a tennis teacher, golf caddie, and waitress, sold plasma twice, and went to taste test fish sticks in a little room at the mall for $10.
Waitress was the hardest. Also check out craigslist.org – people will pay you to do anything, or it might give you some more suggestions. Don’t worry about money, it’ll all work out -
Keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather,How do you make some one who doesn't believe in love believe in love?
~Mitch Hey Mitch -
You can take them to the most beautiful place you've ever been
on the most beautiful day
at the most peaceful time of day
and put somebody there with them who's
full of interesting questions &
interesting answers And if that doesn't work, make them go to an ALO show. Keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather,Would it be possible for me to be a guest answerer for one of your reader's question? I think I would be much better at answering a question than I would asking one as you can see by the creativity of my question. If so, please email me the question....
Thanks,
CV from Chicago Alright Chris - you get the call. Here’s the next "ask heather" question, from our friend Sam: Dear Heather
I recently heard that, according to New Scientist magazine, if an ice cube were to be heated to an unfeasibly hot temperature then gravity would harmonise with the 4 fundamental forces of the universe, thus creating a 10-dimensional superstring in our solar system.
So what the ruddy hell does that mean, then?
Thanks for your assistance,
Sam Dear Sam,
It's really rather an amazing coincidence that you asked me a question about a topic for which I wrote my graduate thesis: quantum microeconomic mechanic melting theory. Anyway, the answer to your conundrum is really quite simple once you understand the 4 fundamental forces of the universe: 1. Gravity - we all know about this special force 2. Heat string theory - this explains why a two element material like water spreads out when treated with heat and gravity at the same time 3. Immortal bi-sampling economics - this explains why some elements when pushed to the brink seem to break into strands resulting in extra dimensions 4. Love - probably the most important but least understood force, this is what makes everything work, from puppies growing older to people having hug-offs It's kind of interesting though that gravity is at the same time a fundamental force and an outside non-fundamental force. This means that it actually can interact with itself (think black holes). Now, in order to pull off what you are describing you would need an ice cube and a heater - something much hotter than the hair dryer you are envisioning. You would need something more like that oven they have at California Pizza Kitchen to the one thousandth power or something like the sun to the fifth power. Throw an ice cube (and stand back) into either of those contraptions and WHAMO - you have a perfect unbreakable 10 dimensional superstring! Now for the funny part. You can’t see, hear, or smell this string as the human body can only detect 3 dimensions even though it's very real. We have a long way to go (7 dimensions to be exact) until we can actually see this amazing piece of our universe. I would encourage you to continue your studies of this subject beyond what I have described today, but I hope I could help. Safe travels!
Chris Wow – thank you so incredibly much for that Chris! All i can say is – it makes sense to me.
Sam, are you as satisfied and amazed and stunned as I am with this incredible answer? Blimey! I am rendered speechless by the quality of Chris' amazing answer & the power of the humble ice cube. No longer will I curse them for making my coke watery.
Big up to Chris for clearing that up & many thanks to Heather for making it happen.
Freshen up! Sam Keep it fresh all of you now,
Heather
Dear Heather,Do I stand a chance? – Hop Hey Hop –
I’d say that if you’re asking then you do. Prince Crickafer of the Doublestuf agrees.
Keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather,How old were you when you died? And what happened - vanessa Hey Vanessa -
I die every time I breathe out. And I'm reborn every time I breathe in.
Keep it fresh,
Heather
How do air conditioners work?Just wondering,
Paul with Bouncer Dimensions, Santa Barbara Hey Paul:
It may seem like air conditioners cool down the air inside your hotel room, but they are really making the room less hot by removing heat from inside and transferring it outside. Basically, heat is extracted from the room by passing indoor air across a refrigerant coil inside the air conditioner unit. Here is a diagram for reference. 1. The compressor compresses cool Freon gas into hot, high-pressure Freon gas (red in the diagram).
2. This hot gas runs through a set of coils to dissipate its heat, and it condenses into a liquid.
3. The Freon liquid runs through an expansion valve, which turns it to cold, low-pressure Freon gas (light blue in the diagram).
4. This cold gas runs through a set of coils that absorb heat and cool down the air inside the room. Keep it fresh and cool,
Heather
Dear Heather, Will Kevin ask me out next year in fifth grade?
- lilcakes Hey Lil–
That depends. Kevin might not ask out ANYbody next year in fifth grade. If Kevin asks out SOMEbody, though - you should make sure it's you. if you can make him laugh or at least make sure he smiles when you're around, your chances are better. The real question is - "Will Lilcakes MAKE Kevin ask her out in fifth grade?" Go get him, chica.
Keep it fresh,
heather
Dear Heather,I have to go to a party and bring something for everybody there to eat, but I don’t want to bring some processed crap – are there any easy fun things that won’t make the guests sick, now or ever?
Thanks,
Claudio, 44, San Luis Obispo Hey Claudio –
How about bringing a tray of Bunny Phones? Remember Funny Bones, the frosted devil’s food cakes filled with peanut butter crème? I remember having between somewhere between two and five hundred via school lunches before I left home. That’s because they’re incredibly delicious. They also have “partially hydrogenated vegetable shortening” as their second ingredient and that’s lard and who knows how many strangers were involved in making that thing and getting it to you. Bunny Phones – taste exactly the same, or even better, and they’re made of good things. Bunny Phones (*these can also be called "Dates with Destiny") 3 dates (as good as you can & will get – organic medjools as big as your thumb if you can, any kind will do, royal medjools are great) 1 teaspoon peanut butter (as good as you can & will get – organic smooth, whatever) 1. slice the dates lengthwise and remove the pits 2. put a bit of peanut butter where the pit was 3. re-close the date 4. eat. refrigerate. chew. chew. chew some more. they just get better and better – it really tastes like chocolate and peanut butter gooey cakey deliciousness of Funny Bones but it’s way better for you. 5. they don’t look like bunny phones, they look like bunny poop, but bunny phones is a better name for a food, and it makes sense since they taste just like twisted funny bones anyway. Keep it fresh,
.JPG){kind=link}
.JPG){kind=link}
.JPG){kind=link}
.JPG){kind=link}
.JPG){kind=link}
Heather
Dear Heather,Have you seen any new things at the grocery store worth a crap?
Marcy, 22, Asheboro Hey Marcy –
In fact I have. These new clips – they’re flat so they don’t hurt! The other ones with the overlapping chomping teeth dig into my head and start to kill after a while. Made by scunci with the umlaut, make sure you get these French designed zig zag jaw clip ones.
Keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather:I know this guy who’s a nurse.
Dingo, 24, Tim Dwight’s Old House Hey Dingy –
I think you mean you know this guy who’s a MURSE! Murses kick ass. Incidentally, I’ve heard “murse” used to describe men’s bags, as a shortened version of man-purse, but everybody knows those are called mocketbooks.
Keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather,Your Kickball team name is so boss and I was wondering if you could help me with naming my companies Softball Team….We are an environmental engineering company and full of life…here are some names that we have come up with… Droplets
Tsunami
Underdog
Pipe Layers
Dirty Water Dawgs
Grease Monkeys
Giant Raindrops
Loraxes
Pocket Protectors
Enviromaniacs
Environmental Renegades
WMDs
Rotifers
Now I am not feeling any of these but the Pocket Protectors did make me snicker…Please help us! Jenny D
Environmental Ecologist
www.hazenandsawyer.com Hey Jen –
Correct me if I’m wrong here, but isn’t your company’s parent company something called Chu & Gassman? www.chugassman.com? And so shouldn’t you definitely be the “Chug Assmen”? If picky league sensors won’t let that pass, I thought of “The Acid Rain” and the easy-to-say “The Sandbagging Basetaggers,” (don’t environmental engineers put sandbags on jetties?), and i also liked your “Pocket Protectors” idea. And there’s always “Solid Wasted Management” or “Water Supply” (so much better than Air Supply). But I’d say go with Chug Assmen if you can.
Good luck and keep it fresh,
Heather
Dear Heather,Are you a hippy?
nyvintagemom, 50, NY Hey nyvintagemom – First of all:
~how to make a cute skirt out of a t-shirt and a shoelace~ 1. get a t-shirt that’s two sizes bigger than the t-shirt you’re wearing 2. turn it inside out 3. hold it in front of you by the hem, print facing front 4. step into one arm and wiggle it up above your knee 5. step into the other arm and wiggle it up above your knee 6. wiggle both sides up so the sleeves fit like nice little shorts 7. pull the shirt up around your happy torso 8. twist the front hem and hold it with your chompers while you wrap the shoelace around your middle at your hipbones 9. wiggle as you let the hem down 10. adjust if needed and voila tips – · t-shirts with prints low on the stomach work well, if you want to show a design
· if you follow the steps above, MINUS step 2, the skirt will be solid, with that funky/unfinished/inside out look
· use scarves, belts, lashes, sashes, ropes, chains, whatever you have instead of shoelaces
· if you try to put the print in the back, the neck will bunch up underneath, giving the appearance of wearing diapers – it’s your call.
Second of all:
i find this birthday thing interesting: paul sadowski birthday calculator Third of all:
as Flops always said, it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice. especially for the very few lucky to be blessed with some power. Fourth of all:
as far big stuff goes, i think it’s not let’s all join hands and get along – i think it’s let’s leave each other the hell alone. figure out new ways of doing things we need to do that don’t involve each other. we’re all adults here – there are lots of countries/people/issues/whatevers, we don’t have to be friends with all of them. Fifth of all:
I like going to “hippie jam band music festivals,” and everything that goes with that. Sixth of all:
i love my new trampoline shoes. So: i don’t think i’m a hippy – i’m skippy – damn skippy. you might think i’m a hippy though, and you might not be wrong. keep it fresh!
heather
Hey Heather,What's shaking? While touring around the latest features to the Vintage Vantage site I dug checking out the sweet vans and assorted trucks. I then decided to share my up and coming investment and Ask Heather her thoughts on some life changes...... that are incorporated with the van.
This 1976 Dodge Tradesman is going to be the means to a new life adventure.... In January I have decided to trade New York City for San Francisco. I am going throw everything into my van head West and start an MFA in Photography. While I am confident that this is a positive move I thought I would ask what advice you could share in this locale and lifestyle change. As well as get my van on the site to share in the prestige of being Vehicular Fresh.
Making moves,
Mike Hey Mike –
Congratulations on your move making – and I’m also confident they’re the right ones. A reasonable person could argue that living on the West Coast, in general, means a life more laid-back, less pretentious, less overrun by the quest for material – which is probably because folks on the West Coast are able to spend more time outside. Assuming that’s true – the place on the West Coast you picked – San Francisco – is right in the middle – a great balance of sun & rain, old & new, outside & inside – all that great stuff, those fun opposites that make things interesting. Plus, ALO plays there all the time. And so does Tea Leaf Green. And you can get your cool vintage vantage stuff at Villains. As for the MFA – as long as getting it is getting you to a place where you’re taking the right photos and meeting the right people, everything’s gravy. Check out your van! No horn blowing except for danger,
Heather PS – you know the guy who had a backpack that my prom date puked into, and as it was being thrown from the moving limo, the guy was screaming: “Wait! No! My scientific calculator!” That guy was you.
Hey Heather,So this has been bugging me for some time, and my friends are pretty split on the issue. Can you tell me, when drinking copious amounts of alcohol - particularly of the hops and barley variety - is there any validity to the "breaking the seal" hypothesis? That's the idea that once you pee that first time, you won't be able to stop. You'll be running to the bathroom after every couple of sips. So, some say it's better to hold in that first pee for as long as humanly possible.
This could very likely be a bigger problem with girls than boys but in any event, could you share your expert opinion? With many thankyou's from Julie in Saskatchewan Hey Jules-
As I am too drunk and distracted by the time I break the seal to make any kind of reasoned analysis, I kicked your question over to our friend, The LUSH-ious Lefty, who is, obviously, an expert on all things lushy. She says her motto is: ALWAYS TRY TO PARTAKE IN STANDARD URINATION, NOT THE “HOLD IT” METHOD. And here’s her extremely reasoned analysis: An experiment conducted by lushy undergrads at the University of Illinois in the fall of 2000 found that holding off on “breaking the seal” can actually make a person spend more time pissing than standard urination. It boils down to this: Alchohol is a diuretic...meaning it over stimulates the kidneys and forces you to pump out more urine than it should. Regardless of when you start releasing said urine your body recognizes alcohol as a poison and attempts to remove it. Holding off on that initial piss may seem like good sense at first (because you can probably drink 4-5 beers without going), but the more you drink the more your bladder is forced to store....once the flood gates have opened your overfilled bladder sends a message to your brain reminding you how wonderful you felt when peeing. Your brain continues to send electrical messages ensuring the most efficient way of emptying your still overfilled bladder (you can't piss enough at one time to fully empty)...thus causing you to pee after every beer or more. The U of I undergrads found standard urination--let’s say peeing after every 2 beers--to be a much more efficient and comfortable piss pattern. Here’s a timeline for clarity.... HOLD IT METHOD... Beer 1 Beer 2 Beer 3 Beer 4 Ahhhhhhh...first piss, what a relief! Beer 5...uh oh gots to go again (piss2) Beer 7...and again (piss 3) Beer 8...and again (piss 4) ...and again (piss 5, what the fuck!) Beer 9 Beer 10...and again (piss 6) That totals six trips to the bathroom for 10 beers. STANDARD URINATION METHOD... Beer1 Beer 2 First piss Beer 3 Beer 4...piss 2 Beer 5 Beer 6...piss 3 Beer 7 Beer 8...piss 4 Beer 9 Beer 10 That makes only four trips to the bathroom for 10 beers With crowded lines at women's restrooms saving these 2 trips could be worth up to 30 or even 40 minutes of bar time. Hope this helps. LUSH-ious Well, there you have it, Julie! A HUGE thanks to Lush for the best “breaking the seal” answer of all time! And here’s to everybody having a comfortable piss pattern and keeping it fresh, Heather P.S. And in case you missed it, Julie’s big butt thing * is so freaking incredible.
Dear Heather,I just got a bunch of wafflesofts and wear them every day because they’re so soft and clingy and don’t ride up and fit perfectly under whatever I’m wearing. My hands are often cold.
Thanks,
Fredericka B., 21, oHIo Hey Fredericka –
Why don’t you cut a small hole, about the size of a silver dollar, in the cuff of your wafflesoft? Your thumb goes through it, turning your sleeve into a pseudo-Madonna-like fingerless glove. Just like this. Very fashion-forward in an 80’s glamour punk way. It leaves your fingers fully functional while the palm and back of your hand are somewhat warmed by the cozy cotton-poly blend of the wafflesoft. I’ve noticed that putting the hole just on the underside of the seam, right about here, ensures the sleeve won’t get bunched up or twisted under any other sleeves that might be layered atop of it. To summarize: putting a thumbhole in your wafflesoft gives you a touch of edgy style, added warmth, and relentlessly comfortable elbow bends. Thanks for the interesting question.
Keep it fresh,
Heather