Dear Heather,

Did you go away and throw away the key?  Answer this - I just got one of the “I see you baby, shakin that ass” tees, which I think is the most hilarious shirt you guys made yet, (holy cow she’s shaking that ass! In Braille!) but the neck is a little too tight for me.  are they all like that?  What should I do? – Vanessa, 20, eau claire

Hey Vanessa -

No way jose, I’m still totally here at vintage vantage, I’ve been posting things to my site skippyhaha and lost hundreds of old questions in a hard drive crash, and haven’t gotten many questions lately.  But ask away!  I had the same exact problem with my ‘shakin that ass’ shirt, I guess boys’ shirts necks run smaller, so I just cut along the baseball neck seams down the white about an inch or two & now it’s so much better.  Don’t be afraid to alter your clothes if it’ll make you wear it 20x more.  You might lose one every once in a while to too much alteration but it’s worth a try.

Keep it fresh,

Heather

Heather, Was Guadalajara Joe influenced by Menudo at all? -JJ Smith Coordinator, Campus Life & Student Development, OSU-Tulsa Why don’t I pass the cursor along to the hombre himself= HI HEATHER!!!! SO THE QUESTION IS...WAS GUADALAJARA JOE INFLUENCED BY MENUDO AT ALL? Well, Gerardo is actually my biggest hero and inspiration! I admire his style, his moves, his lyrics, and his beats! Someday I will perform onstage with him to a packed crowd, and hopefully do a tour together- that is my big dream! If you click this link you can see how much of an inspiration he is to me:) link= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg4-ycoLqyg As far as Menudo, yes, they definitely have an influence on me! For one, they are from Puerto Rico- where my Grandma Mary is from, and having Puerto Rican blood in me- I love to dance and share that with the world! Also, as a kid watching Saturday morning cartoons, I remember Menudo would be on and would sing a song with a Robot – theme of the song was "Simon Says" in Spanish! Take Care! GJ2K+7 Thank you for the probing question JJ & thank you for the thorough reply Guadalajara Joe! As they say, and that’s one to grow on. Keep it frescas, Heather Dear Heather, You know how there was jazz and then rock n roll and then came rap, etc.? So what’s the next kind of music going to be? Curious in Fremont Hey Curious– I was just thinking about that very thing, and I’m pretty sure we have nowhere to go but to start playing the dogs as instruments – as drums. That’s really just petting them to a beat. This would be particularly good for songs like “How Much Is that Doggie in the Window?” “CopaKitshicker”(Homecoming Version) and “Holden, Holden He Is the Black Dog (Nacho, Nacho, His Fur Is White),” which could well be the song The Bass-tards open with in their inaugural gig, whenever that may be. Keep it fresh this new year, Heather Hello Heather! Why do people choose to live in Oklahoma if they don't have to? Sincerely, LMNOP, Q.R. Hey Stu – Watch as i pass the cursor to the one and only JJ, Kid D, the one who won it all in the old Get Fresh with Mateo contest, she came up in Jenks, Oklahoma and now holds it down at OSU-Tulsa, and has this to say about it: What a fantastic question. I cannot say why most people live in Oklahoma, but I can tell you how my people got to this great state. I come from the great Cherokee Nation. We are the indigenous people of North America. Formerly the largest and most important tribe in the Southeast, we occupied mountain areas of North and South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, and Tennessee. In the 1830’s, gold was discovered in our territory and the white man created great pressure to move us out of our land. A treaty was extracted from a small part of the tribe, binding all of us to move beyond the Mississippi River within three years. Although most of my people objected to this document and the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the nation's autonomy, the state of Georgia secured an order for our removal, which was accomplished by military force. President Andrew Jackson refused to get involved, and in 1838 my tribe was deported to Oklahoma. We lost thousands on the march, known as “The Trail of Tears.” My people had no choice, they were forced into Oklahoma. Why do we still live in Oklahoma? Have you ever heard of noodling? Check it out (http://www.okienoodling.com). Everything will make sense after you visit the site. Our median home price is $96,000. You can build the home of your dreams for $200,000 in this great state. We experience all four seasons, summer, fall, winter and spring. Plus, there’s… Pasture fer the cattle, Spinach and termayters! Flowers on the prairie where the June bugs zoom, Plen'y of air and plen'y of room, Plen'y of room to swing a rope! Plen'y of heart and plen'y of hope. Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet When the wind comes right behind the rain. Oklahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk Makin' lazy circles in the sky. We know we belong to the land And the land we belong to is grand! And when we say Yeeow! Ayipioeeay! We're only sayin' You're doin' fine, Oklahoma! Oklahoma O.K. So there you go, STU, from a true Okie. Thank you kindly JJ! I made up a dance to that very song and performed it with about 10 other girls in the 5th grade at a school talent show. We all wore jeans, white t-shirts & bandanas around our neck. I wish i had a photo. Also I had a great time driving through Oklahoma last year, starting in Clinton. Stu, I hope you see the beauty in the red dirt now. Keep it fresh, Heather Hi Heather, So which came first the chicken or the egg? -erin and kyle Hey Erin & Kyle- Tough one - i think there were birds, pre-chickens, and two advanced pre-chickens got together, and something went a little awry in the egg – mutation, magic, better diet of the parents - & what hatched was the first chicken, who went on to mate with only the most advanced pre-chickens and soon there were more chickens than pre-chickens. So my answer is – the first chicken hatched from a pre-chicken egg. Keep it fresh, heather Hey Heather, It’s that time again, any ideas on fresh Halloween costumes this year? Thanks, Kelvin, NC Hey Kelvin – Instead of giving specific ideas, I think in general you could just be where you are going to be that night. for example if you’ll be at a party at 875 Opal Street, San Diego, California, some easy possibilities = be San Diego (who was thee original Saint Diego? figure it out!) be P.B. (peanut butter? pacific beach?) be an opal street be the number 875 be a house of wheels be California ... Or what if you’ll be in Boulder Colorado at the Fox Theatre for a Tea Leaf Green show? be a boulder be a fox be franz hanzerbeak be a buffalo be a prairie lark finch be john denver i think you get the picture. The possibilities are endless based on your plans & crafting ability, people will like knowing your costume is where they are, it’s a win-win, so be the costume, go to the costume, have fun in the costume, and then vote for good people in the next week’s elections if you’re old. Keep it fresh, heather Dearest Heather, Guadalajara Joe here. I just have just one question.... Whatchagonnado in the Y2K+6????? Yours in Flan, GJ What's up Guadalajara Joe?! I'm a huge fan! Thanks for the question, in the Y2K plus 6 i'm gonna do what Armando Telemundo says, "just g-g-g-g-g-g-g-go with the flow" ~ i'm gonna eat some shrimp in tacos play with my dog Nacho ... gonna score some aqua sox like Joe who really rox ... gonna get my fortune told and play with my dog Holden ... And then of course I hope to catch all of the scrumptious sound of Guadalajara Joe at High Sierra music fest! Keep it fresh, Heather Heather, I live in Washington, D.C. and ride the Metro (train) into work each day. There is an unwritten rule that everyone who is on the train either: a) reads the paper, a book, or a magazine; b) listens to their iPod; or c) accomplishes a combination of the two. The problem is—D.C. is a fantastic tourist destination and—every now and again these fine visitors wander onto the Metro during morning rush-hour. Unfamiliar with the rules of the commute, they talk to each other in loud voices—often with curious accents, employing bewildering colloquialisms—saying/shouting things like “Where do we git off to see this Smifsonian?!” This infuriates me and (I believe) others. Am I justified? Am I hardened by the hour-long grind I endure (two times a day) day-in and day-out? Am I redirecting my own frustrations vis-à-vis my white-collar despair and unrealized potential? Give me something, Tobias of Invisible HJs Hey Tobias – I can see how you get annoyed as you endure a couple of hours of mass transit a day. Some people, if you’ll remember “Lauren” from “Get Fresh with Mateo,” manage to have a good time on the metro. If you’re not feeling up to answering questions though, I suggest you get big puffy headphones & turn up the ipod, and Post-It notes (or, paper and chewed gum) stuck to your glasses will show you’re truly serious about not wanting to interact. Or, you could turn it all around & bring your guitar with you on the metro and start everybody a-singing songs everybody knows (“This Land Is Your Land” “Beat It” “Take Me out to the Ball Game” etc.) and that might be a rousing & energizing way to start and end your work days, and people might also put money in a hat that you put next to you. Or the blinders. Keep rush hour fresh, Heather Hey Heather, I was just wondering if there is anywhere I can find a shirt like the one Mateo is wearing in the attached picture? Hope you can help, Janet Hey Janet, Unfortunately that shirt jumped out of the vintage river for Mateo’s golden birthday and I have never seen the likes of it before or since. You could make your own very easily with a blank t-shirt and a black sharpie marker. Put cardboard inside the shirt as you write so the letters don’t go thru to the back. The exact words are: I’M NOT A HAIRY COWBOY AND NOT AN UNKEMPT HIPPIE I’M JUST A WELL GROOMED MOUNTAIN MAN And if you do get a blank shirt, Mateo himself will throw one of his own personal sharpies in the envelope for you to use. Keep it fresh, Heather !*UPDATE*UPDATE*! got some awesome news from Janet: hi heather! this isn't really a question, but hey. a week or two ago i sent you a question about the mountain man shirt, and you suggested i make my own. i wasn't sure i could do justice to that particular theme, but i liked the idea of making my own shirt. following up on this, i ordered a dark blue blank on along with my free shirt. i've attached a picture of the result of my efforts. so, thank you for getting my brain moving! i've wanted to make my own shirt for a while but all the blank shirts you can buy are usually really uncomfortable. now one of my comfiest shirts is also one of my most unique! adiós y buena fortuna, -janet m. p.s. i also attached a picture of me modeling the "hello" shirt i chose as my free one. :-) Hi Heather, My kickball team is having a difficult time with kicking. Specifically, pop fly's seem to be our biggest problem. Do you have any pointers for kicking style and strategy such as kicking with the toe or laces of shoes, body weight distribution, line drives vs. bombs, etc? I have been unable to locate any reference; it seems Fundamentals of Kickball hasn't been written yet. Thanks in advance for helping out a fellow kickball enthusiast. Yours truly, Cap'n Fuego Thanks, Brian Dow Geologist III Tetra Tech, Inc. 4213 State Street Suite 100 Santa Barbara, CA 93110 Tel 805-681-3100 x127 Fax 805-681-3108 brian.dow@tetratech.com www.tetratech.com Hey Cap’n Fuego! Pop fly’s are a common problem for rookie teams, and when the other team uses proper tuck-oop/scoo-puck, they’re add up to easy outs. So you have to mix it up with bunts, line drives, and grounders, and to do that here are a few tips from some Kitshickers: · Chef: Tell her to reference soccer kicks...and try kicking with the inside of the foot rather than the top, at first lots of foul balls but with a little correction, left field city sweetheart!!!! · male-Giani: Penalty kicks in soccer always teach you to lean your chest and head over the ball when striking- keeps the trajectory a little lower to avoid having the ball sail over the goal. And yes I know, I'm a physics nerd. And yes I also know I'm equally gay. Oh well... <3 Giani · Shroom: Knee up, toe down. Force your leg's momentum to carry your foot somewhere other than up (twist or jump or something); little more physics for everyone out there. on the subject of kickball UNO MAS had another dominating (not quite) victory last night!!!!! That brings us up to a 5 seed entering the tournament. That's out of 8 teams and a whole 2 spots higher than last season. yesssssssssssssssssssssss. Next Monday we kick ass in the tourney And then in weighs the ultimate source, the Norwegian Wood: · Weege (seen executing the kick heard round the world vs. the bloo ballerZ): Chef, male-Giani and Schrooooom got it right. Head down, watch your foot make contact with the ball… knee over the ball, toes pointed down, make contact with the laces. A hop or small jump can also help to get you over the ball and not allow for any shin-kicks. Otherwise, try the aforementioned swing kick technique which might work best for those tall Geologists like Brian Dow. Chef says it perfectly for bunting and placing your kick – just use the inside of the foot. It is a much larger area to make contact with the kickball. It is also easier to push the ball, since are really trying to absorb some of the pitch speed while redirecting the kickball down the baseline rather than kicking it (adding any force). Using the inside of the foot is the place to start for beginners. Move on to using the laces once the inside of the foot is mastered. I also like to use the outside of my foot for the opposite field kick that lands fair and instantly heads foul for those homerun kicks. Windy days and great pitchers can make this difficult. Suggested only for experienced kickers. Kicking pop-ups normally happens because the kicker leans back too much. Also, they are trying to watch where the kick goes before making sure they made good contact. It is easier to watch your foot make contact with the ball and just imagine/assume where the field is compared to watching where the fielders are or where you are going to kick it and imagine/assume where you are making contact with the ball… or something like that. And for the record, I am a nerd. An engiNERD… ~Weege I hope this helps the Funky Yuccas and Team Playing Through in the Fiesta League, and we’ll see you on the fields of High Sierra! Kick it fresh, Heather Dear Heather, I recently bought Shadow of the Colossus and I want to know how to beat the freaking first boss, so just tell me. NO FUNNY BUSINESS! Got it? Good. Sincerely, Rojo Blackman Hey Rojo – Having neither a Playstation 2 nor any idea about how to beat the first boss on Shadow of the Colossus, I passed your question over to the Kitshickers, and Wheels Chipotle piped right up with the following answer. He refuses to divulge his source, so I can’t vouch for it, but it’s worth a try? i'm a little rusty, but here it goes... ________) (, / /___, ) / +-- (_/ IRST COLOSSUS -------------------------------------------- 01.01 --+ When I refer to a specific direction like north or south, press the start button to check your map to see which way you should be going, but most of the time you can approximate by aiming your sword and following the light. When you get out of the temple, aim your sword and you'll see that the light points you directly south. Start riding in that direction. While you ride you can hold circle to check to make sure you're still going in the right direction, as you point the light toward different objects, the horse too will move in that direction. Point the light in the direction where the beams converge to the sharpest point and when you eventually reach that point you'll hit a wall. It's time to dismount from the horse, and make the rest of the trip on your own. You will note that so far you have not encountered any normal enemies, the reason for this is because there are none in the game. The entire experience is based solely on the battles with the Colossi, anything else would just be in the way (and pale in comparison.) Don't worry, you'll get to do some fighting soon, probably a lot sooner than you expect. After the quick little scene that kind of shows the area where you are, you should be off the horse. Face directly west and there on the wall will be a kind of viney, leafy, grassy patch. When looking at your map, the yellow arrow is the direction your character is facing while the blue shape opens in the direction the camera is facing. Jump at this viney wall with the triangle button and while in mid air, press the R1 button and hold it to grab on. Once you have grabbed something, the little pink circle at the lower right corner will begin to shrink. This is your grip strength, when the circle disappears, you will fall. When you are not gripping anything, the circle gradually gets bigger as you grip returns. Also noteworthy is the meter below the circle, this is your life bar. When it depletes, the game is over. While holding on to the wall, press the triangle button to jump up, or hold up on the left analog stick to climb. Once you grab the ledge at the top, press triangle to climb up onto it. Don't worry about leaving your horse behind, you'll see it again soon enough. From the perspective of climbing up, make a left when you reach the top (the other direction leads to a dead end anyway.) At the end of this path is a gap, run toward the gap and press triangle to jump over it. On the other side run left and jump up while holding R1 to grab the ledge above you, and then climb onto it. Head right (this and most other directions assume the camera is facing the default direction) and cross the wooden platforms. You'll see another gap here that you have to jump over, and then you'll reach a fallen pillar. You can roll underneath things in this game by pressing the R1 and triangle buttons at the same time (this can be performed while running too.) Continue to the end of this path and then jump and climb up to the one above you. Make a right here and climb again. You should find yourself at this point on a small ledge with a rock pillar on your left, and a dead end on your right. Even though you can't jump high enough to get on top of the rock pillar, run left and jump toward it while holding the grab button. You should be able to grab a small ledge on the side of the pillar. Now hold left on the analog stick to shimmy around to the opposite side. When you get there, hold the left analog stick in the opposite direction (from the one you're facing) and press triangle to jump away from the while while still holding R1, you'll grab the next ledge. Climb onto this one and follow the path to trigger a scene, here we have the first Colossus. ____________________________________________________________________________ |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | +-- F I R S T C O L O S S U S --+ | |____________________________________________________________________________| |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | We are thrust right into battle immediately, but the Colossus doesn't | | really notice you. You're free to run around without much happening, but | | the instant he does notice you, some pumping battle music begins and that | | is when it truly gets dangerous. We should go over a couple things before | | that however. First of all this is your first battle, so it's important | | to know exactly what you're trying to do. At your disposal is a sword and | | a bow, both will come in handy but not necessarily for this battle. | | Colossi have weak points which are displayed as weird glowing symbols on | | their body, but they aren't always easy to find. To find them you must | | hold up your sword and see where the light converges, that will show you | | the location of the weak point (and usually there are more than one.) | | Killing a Colossus is a matter of hitting those weak points with your | | weapons, or something along those lines which damages the boss (its health | | meter is shown at the top.) Mostly you cannot hit these points without | | first climbing up the gigantic beast and locating them yourself. | | | | Remember that the L1 button centres your camera on the Colossus, that will | | really come in handy. Begin by holding up your sword and aiming it at the | | boss. From far away it doesn't really give an accurate reading but using | | it closer will reveal one weak point on its head, and one on the back of | | its left leg, down near the foot (or hoof). Climbing a Colossi is like | | climbing a wall. You can't just grab skin, but any hairy section is | | climbable, as well as accessories (like a bracelet maybe) and basically | | any surface that looks like it could pass as a ledge. Remember that most | | of the time there is a pretty predetermined way to climb on top of these | | beasts, all you have to do is find it. When you're ready to begin | | fighting this boss, then run up to him, and all hell breaks loose. | | | | As I said there are two weak points on this boss, one on the back of the | | left leg and one on the head. Obviously the leg is easier to get to so | | we'll aim for that, but let's take a moment to look at the bosses attacks. | | For the most part he just walks around, this sounds harmless but it's | | actually quite dangerous. If you get near his foot when he stomps (or | | worse yet, under the foot) then you are going to take damage. His actual | | attack involves the enormous club he is carrying, he raises it into the | | air and slams it down. If this lands on top of you then you can pretty | | much say goodbye to your life (this sounds like a good time to let people | | know that when you die, you can retry right from the beginning of battle.) | | | | Your goal in this fight is to get around behind the Colossus and jump at | | the back of his left leg. Notice that it is hairy, meaning you can grab | | onto it if you're holding the R1 button. Once you have grabbed hold of | | it, begin climbing up using the left analog stick. A few arm lengths up | | there is a small symbol you will see, when you are holding the fur on top | | of the symbol, tap the square button one to stab, and then again to stab a | | second time. Note that while you are doing this the Colossus will be | | trying to shake you off, as long as you are holding the R1 button while he | | is shaking (and not trying to jump) then you will hang on, but it will do | | a number on your grip. After the second stab, there will be a short | | cutscene where the enormous giant monster falls forward. At this point | | there are two ways that I know of to get up to his head, the hard way and | | the easy way (the hard way is what I used when I first fought this boss, | | before I found the much easier way to do it.) Which you use is up to you. | | | | The easy way to do it starts right here. While the boss is kneeling down | | after you have stabbed him, jump up and grab hold of the ledge just below | | the fur on his ass, then grab the fur on his ass and climb. Above you | | should be a reasonably large platform, climb over to the left to get | | around it, and then up. While holding the side of this platform, press | | the triangle button to jump up onto it. You're relatively safe while | | standing on this platform. You shouldn't be grabbing anything (to restore | | your grip strength) but you should be holding R1. Holding R1 when not | | near a wall makes you duck down, and while ducking you are much less | | susceptible to the shaking of the beast. Once you grip strength has | | restored, then it's time to jump up again and limb to the higher platform. | | | | From here it's just a matter of climbing the rest of the fur until you | | reach the head. Note that it's pretty safe to run around on the | | Collossus' upper back without falling so you can restore grip strength. | | While on the actually head he has a tendency to shake, so make sure that | | you are holding on (you have to be holding on anyway to do the stab.) The | | symbol here on his head is much larger, grab hold of the fur around it, | | wait until he isn't shaking and then press and hold square. When the | | white charge meter that appears on the pink circle reaches its maximum, | | tap square to perform a powerful stab that should deal damage equal to | | about 35% of his total health and cause a blast of black blood to spew. | | All you have to do now is keep using powerful stabs, just three of them | | should be enough to finally take down the monster and win the battle. | | | | The hard method I described before works as follows. After you have | | stabbed the mini symbol on the leg, jump off the creature and run around | | to the front (be careful of be stomped on here.) When he lands, he puts | | the climb down and on the front of the club are some ledges you can climb. | | Climb on top of the club (be careful because he swings it a lot) and jump | | from the club to the bracelet on his arm. From here you have to shimmy | | around back and climb up the fur on the back of his arm, there is a small | | platform near his shoulder you can rest on, but it's very difficult to | | actually reach it before you run out of grip strength, be warned. From | | that small platform you have access to the fur on the upper back. | |____________________________________________________________________________| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Upon defeating the boss you will see a scene and then a number of black spirits float about. You are automatically knocked unconscious here and asked if you wish to save your game. This is how saving works in the game, you can save every time you defeat a Colossus and then you are returned back to the temple, with a new Colossus in a new location which must be defeated. Hope this helps, Rojo – Keep it fresh, Heather Dear Heather, Ok, so here is a serious opinion question... What is your opinion on zoos? Being that you reside in the city of a "world famous" one, do you have an opinion on their impact on conservation or the need for their existence? I have been trying to convince myself that they are an important tool in educating the masses on the importance of conservation but then I always feel bad that the animals aren't living a natural life (even though for some it could be extremely shortened) Also there is the preservation of genetic lines to consider, as well as breeding to reintroduce endangered species into the wild (although the success rates of many species are pretty poor). Can you shed some light on this subject? Also if your answer is essentially boo on zoos, what would be the best way in your opinion to make a positive difference in conservation of endangered species? Thanks, you just may spark a career change for me. Sincerely, A conservation crusader on the brink Hey Nicole – This is a heavy question because my opinion is essentially boo on zoos, but, like you i struggle because I appreciate the good that they can do. I forwarded your question to our friend Stubbler, whose work involves animals (salmon) and conservation, and he had these thoughts to share: I would generally have to say "I have no idea" since I do not have recent first-hand experiences with zoos in my conservation work, my only experience was going to the San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park often as a kid (I was a children's member of the entire SD zoo program). My work experience with conservation is more specific: on-the-ground land or stream conservation projects and less "issue-oriented," such as the effectiveness of breeding programs in zoos or a zoo's effect on animals. My personal, uneducated opinion is that there are bad zoos, and there are better zoos. There are no perfect zoos. One the one side, those better zoos are children's only link to the natural world, especially if the kids come from an urban background. Therefore, the educational impact is significant, since these zoos give children the value of the natural world, which we are losing more ever year. On the other hand, I've watched animals in certain exhibits at both the SD Zoo & Wild Animal Park look like their visually 'losing-it', with wild cats pacing madly around the pen or primates with lost looks on their faces. As for alternatives, In Oregon, there are many outdoor-oriented education programs that take kids out to the backcountry so they can learn conservation, and I know this is the case in California too. I believe this can instill great wonder and mystery in children, especially when finding an animal in the wild is much more difficult than in a zoo. Much time could and should be spent looking up these alternative resources for children. Well thank you kindly for your informed insights, Stubbler – it got me thinking – some other ways to make a positive impact to conservation could include showing an IMAX movie – I just saw the Serengeti one, and they get really close, it’s almost like seeing the animals in person. And the animals you’re seeing are doing (relatively) their own thing, not “pacing madly” as Stubbler remembers. Also museums with a real, life-sized stuffed elephant that you can get close to are about as good as seeing them behind a fence. Nicole, sorry if I didn’t answer your question, but I hope you fall off the brink onto the side that can help answer it for the rest of us & let me know when you do. Keep it fresh, Heather Heather, What is the difference between the 50 varieties of cleats I see in the stores and online? Baseball, softball, soccer, football?? I don’t see kickball cleats? ; ) Where is the kickball aisle at Sports R Us? Brandi – President, WAKA - Santa Barbara Fiesta League Hey Brandi- Great question! Kickball is part soccer, part baseball/softball, part football – your options are endless! The Kitshickers – some wear football cleats, some wear soccer cleats, some wear baseball cleats – i guess it just depends on what fits your foot best. Generally, I would say baseball/soccer cleats for narrower feet, football cleats for wider, and just to get the cheapest ones that fit, and also look cute. I predict kickball aisles in 3-5 years. Good luck, can’t wait to see you & the rest of the Fiesta League on the fields of High Sierra! Kick it fresh, Heather Heather, Do girls poop? I hope not. SM from Illinois Dear SM, Yes. Keep it fresh, Heather Hi Heather, Riddle me this..... Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick? Spanks... L-E moose Hey Ellie – A “peck” is equal to 8 quarts. Depending on the size of the peppers, you can fit about 10-20 in each quart jar. So Peter probably picked about 125 peppers, give or take. Here’s a handy diagram. Keep it fresh, Heather Dearest Heather, During the blizzard of 2006, I happened to peruse your website and found that you have posted a picture of me. I wanted to thank you and let you know that due to your generosity I finally made it onto the world wide web! While my picture might not show up with a google search it still signifies, to me, that I exist. Here's my question, and I believe my BFF (moving mike) as well as some of your former "kissy friends" would like to ask the same thing, are your breasts real? Or have you used some sneaky marketing techniques? I certainly do not remember them looking like that. Keep it fresh, JMF (Can you name the two people next to me in the yearbook pic? I can't and I was next to them for six years.) Hey Jason Foreman– So great to hear from you. I'm not sure what you remember my breasts looking like or what you think they look like now, but yes they are real they look about the same to me. I couldn't find many pictures from back then showing much boob, but here's a comparison of pictures taken: last time I saw you vs. couple months ago. I mean, I’m no Erin, but it’s all natural and/or Victoria’s secret. It’s very possible you didn’t notice back in high school because you were distracted by my enormous bangs. I can name Peter Fountis, the other guy you’ll have to look up yourself. Keep it fresh, Heather Hey Heather, what's up? There is a new club that just opened up around in my area, and my girlfriend and I have gone a couple of times. We always have a ton of fun, but on the dance floor, she’s reluctant to do anything other than the same old two-step or just swinging her hips side to side. It's more of a hip-hop/urban style club, and there are people grinding and pretty much doing anything, but my friend is afraid to do any other dance because she thinks she will look stupid. Do you have any suggestions or maybe a few dance moves that could get her going on the dance floor? Thanks a lot, Kortlin Hey Kortlin – Many people are shy on dance floors, they think everybody is staring at them – the truth is, everybody’s too wrapped up in themselves to care or notice what you’re doing, so you might as well have fun. Here are some basic moves that should work at clubs and also at live music shows, because there’s nothing to be afraid of there. the wheels wiggle – similar to the twist, but just a little more wiggle the tug o’ peace – unlock your knees & pretend to pull the rope like in tug o’ war. move your feet after a few pulls the push o’ vibe – the reverse of the tug o’ peace – bent knees, you just push that rope, push those vibes away the damn skippy – if you forget what to do, just skip in place a couple of classic jumping ones: punch the giant and/or poke the giant’s eye(s) out the weathervane (as explained by steve’n’jerry): “Well, the Weathervane is a love dance much like the Tango. It's easy to explain but about the lookin stupid part I got nothin'. When one Weathervanes one BECOMES a human pointer much like a Weathervane points the wind direction. The thing you point to is the one you love. The one who "Turns my Weathervane!" Palms touching, arms outstretched is the Weathervane starting point. Slow back and forth swaying with quicker back and forthness with the wrists is the preferred opening, but everyone has their own style. Random wild spinning is what happens to me because (I Believe) my wife has never been with me at a Tea Leaf Green show. If Mike and Ang [friends in love] were Weathervaning, by the end of the dance the fingertips at the end of their outstretched arms would be touching.” get a hula hoop! it’ll help with dance moves Otherwise, if you get lost, I suggest you just close your eyes, think about your fingertips and tips of your toes, or else then your bellybutton & you’ll find your rhythm. And then we all know the age-old advice: “You gotta work like you don’t need the money, you gotta love like you’ll never get hurt, you gotta dance dance dance like there’s nobody watchin...” I hope this helps but also consider maybe dancing just isn’t her thing – and you can go play mini-golf, or for a walk with a camera, or make dinner or something she’d rather do instead. Keep it fresh, Heather

heathersayswhat?